HEROES OR ZEROS?  YOU MAKE THE CALL!

The following article in its’ abbreviated form is from the Parent/Youth Center for Understanding.

Kids aren't the only ones who "wanna be like Mike." Early last year, Sponsorship Research International asked adults to name the sports figures they most admire. Of course, Michael Jordan topped the list. But some of the other results might surprise you. Who would have imagined that a boxer convicted of rape, a retired football player on trial for murder, and a skater who pled guilty to conspiracy would also make the list?

Ask kids to tell you about their heroes and they'll rattle off a list of sports stars that accomplish amazing athletic feats with their God-given talents. But like their adult counterparts, many of their heroes' on and off-field antics are hardly worth emulating. All too often, celebrity wins out over character as the determining factor in the sports hero game.

The playing fields of America are covered with more and more kids whose play reflects the demise of humility, integrity, and sportsmanship among their sports heroes. I'm concerned. Organized sports have always been praised for providing opportunities for children to learn positive lessons about life and relationships. But the lousy lessons trickling down from the top of the professional ranks, to the parent in the stands, to the six-year-old on the field are anything but heroic. What has resulted can be stated pretty simply: when it comes to sports heroes, we've really messed up!

We've messed up by stressing winning so much that we've forgotten how to lose with dignity. One high school football coach I know arrived in his office on his first day of work with a simple straightforward assignment from the school administration and parents: "All we want you to do is bring us a winner." No one ever suggested that he work to build character in his team, prepare them to lose with grace and dignity, or even have fun. Maybe we shouldn't be surprised when the newspaper runs heartbreaking stories about athletes destroyed by the agony of defeat: "A Tennessee high school football player was paralyzed from the chest down this weekend when, frustrated by a close loss in a state playoff game, he put on his helmet, sprinted several feet, and butted headfirst into a wall outside the locker room." What drove this A student to trade his sensibilities for life in a wheelchair? Why did he allow football, nothing more than a game, to become much more than a game? The answer: the young man couldn't stand the thought of losing. His principal said, "He was a highly competitive person. There was just no place for second in his life."

After analyzing the culture of sport in America, Glenn Salo found that this out of control "win at all costs" attitude has exacted a cost. He writes, "Working its way through our society, from the professional ranks through the media to our youth leagues, and even our backyards, this force carries with it the thought that we are worthless if we aren't victorious! We can't live up to this driving expectation placed upon us by our parents, peers, coaches, spectators, and even ourselves. It eventually becomes a no-win proposition."

If you think there's nothing worse than a sore loser, think again! There's another mess-up that's just as bad. . . a sore winner! Sore winners lack dignity when they showboat, hot-dog, taunt, show-off, gloat, demean, and belittle. They play the advice of Ray Kroc, the genius behind McDonald's, who once said, "If a competitor is drowning, you should stick a hose in his mouth." Rather than offering a hand to a fallen opponent, they stand over him; kick him by dancing in celebration, then strut away.

I recently watched the 6 year-old self-appointed "spiritual leader" of a soccer team lead his teammates onto the field while announcing to his opponents, "We're going to kick your butts!" By the conspicuous absence of any discouragement or correction, his coach and parents encouraged his poor sportsmanship. They probably thought he was a "winner". I was once again reminded that I need to go out of my way to teach my children about heroes and sportsmanship. But how can I be a positive force when the “False Heroes and Role Models” of the world scream their lessons out so loud?

First, we've got to change the standard. We need to teach our kids that heroes and role models shouldn't be determined by the size of one's ego, wallet, championship ring, personal statistics, mouth and endorsements. Second, we need to live the standard. Whether we're sitting in the stands, playing a family game of Monopoly, or running up and down the field, our actions must reflect the true standard of greatness. It was Plato who said, "You can learn more about a person in an hour of play, than you can in a lifetime of conversation." Next time you watch or play, take a mirror so that you can see what your kids are learning from your behavior. Whether you know it or not, you're a hero and they're watching.

Third, don't hesitate to "deflate" false heroes. Finally, enthusiastically "inflate" real heroes. Unfortunately the real heroes in life are rarely mentioned in the paper. They don't sign big contracts and endorse products on television. You'll never see them dancing in the end zone or waving from a convertible in a victory parade. But you can point your kids to missionaries, faithful husbands and wives, committed moms and dads, caring schoolteachers, and diligent youth-leaders who, while they aren't perfect, do strive to live the standard.

So who are the heroes and who are the zeros? For the sake of your kids, you make the call.